This topic really gives me the shits.
Don’t get me wrong, for all those who love children and love having children and making families, that’s great, we need more people like you. We need people in the world who aren’t drug fucked alcohol induced or doing it for money to have children. Children need to feel loved at all times, and some of the current standards of child protection do nothing other tha exacerbate existing issues.
I really really despise being judged by people because I don’t want to have children.
You know what, without sounding crass, I’m not a breeder. I’m not one of those women who coo and swoon over a baby, I’m just not and never was. I am not interested in the concept of being pregnant nor of what occurs afterwards, It just isn’t me.
That being said, if it were to happen accidently I wouldn’t get rid of it. If God or heaven or the fates or whoever or whatever it is you believe in wills it so, then so be it. But believe me, I am not making any real effort to predispose myself to that.
I’m sorry if that offends people but I don’t see the point, mainly:
- Because I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and have had it since I started puberty. The lack of estrogen in my body and the mess it has made to my menstrual cycle, including the infertility, the imbalance on hormones, the increase in glucose (making me almost insulin resistant or similar to diabetic even though I am not) and all other side effects currently, and depending on how much damage has been done maybe indefinately mean I cannot have children.
- I don’t have time, nor do I want to make time. I don’t want to be like every other stinking female. I don’t want to go and work in my job for 5 years before woops, I fell pregnant comes along and suddenly you’re at home being a mum. It doesn’t warm up to me, it doesn’t interest me. I didn’t study at uni for as long as I did to go and waste it on changing diapers. I want my life to be more than that, and whilst many women may feel empowered and whatever else for giving birth, well, good for you. It’s not for me. I want my brain to be used for things other than goo goo gaa gaa.
- The world is too overpopulated and we are struggling with natural resources as it is. So many people are in poverty, even in Australia where basic necessities are being forgotten about. The cost of living is so expensive compared to what our incomes are – people are up to their earlobes in debt, and ‘grandparents’ have to work longer before retiring. I won’t contribute to the problem further, if that is my only way of helping, then so be it.
- I recently had a weekend where my partners friends came, and they’ve got a 4 mth old. I was annoyed the entire time. The crying, and screaming, and stinky diapers, ok…it’s a baby and it doesn’t know and cannot look after itself. But the mother did nothing apart from talk about her baby, and whilst I understand and know that all mothers love their babies, why does the intelligent conversation go? It doesn’t even need to be intellient for fucks sake, just stop talking about your baby and talk about something else. I don’t really care and having to pretend I do is giving me a headache. Why is it that women become foreign entities once they’ve given birth? Having children doesn’t mean you need to lose who you are! How is this progression for women at all? It’s not, you’re just like every other woman on the planet…
- My life was not put on this earth so I could just breed. I was conceived out of love yes, and I doubt my parents believe that they were put on this earth just to breed either. But I hate that mentality, which both my grandmother and aunty exhibit, “Oh, but who will you live for if you don’t have kids?”….I can’t believe this is even a question, but I answered, “myself.” So just because I choose not to have children that suddenly means my life is somewhat worthless? How? Just because you did nothing prominent with your life apart from be someone’s mother doesn’t mean I need to do it too. You loved it, great, I don’t. Now stop bugging me about it. It’s not that I expect to be some worldwide reknowned somebody, I don’t care about that. I want to do something that means something to me, not my aunty, or grandma or in laws, or even my parents or anyone else for that matter.
- I don’t want any offspring I bring in to this world to experience it how it is right now. Gone are the days where kids were free – now they’re inhibited by many things, namely technology and sexual predators. I don’t want to battle a drugged up teenager, or lose a child due to bad driving habits, alcohol or drug abuse, or suicide and depression. I don’t want to love something more than life itself only for it to be taken from me however it may be. I just won’t. Maybe it’s fear, maybe I’m being selfish, but I won’t be willingly predisposing myself to that.
It just bothers me so much that it’s the expected or right thing to do. That notion of the perfect Australian nuclear family with 2.5 kids, a dog and a cat and a bird. I mean, you read these senseless articles about women’s lib and freedom and rights for women etc etc, and it’s all just way over the top, but then you think well hold on a minute, maybe if more women had ambition and wanted to do more with themselves maybe women’s rights would be different? I don’t know. I know some people will get all pissed off now and say, “But many women hold down careers and have families.” You know what, again, that’s great, and all praise to them, but they chose to live their lives that way. For me, I am going to choose something a little different.